yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
