i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your cock deserves a montage
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
