it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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