saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
