I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
