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just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
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