i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?