Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
