what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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