I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
