So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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