No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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