remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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