My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You left your phone here
Wait...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
