If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
