i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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