I smell stomach acid.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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