its not stalking. its research.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
