Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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