trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize