I puked a lego.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
