We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
