I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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