What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize