Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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