I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
