I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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