this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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