you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
