Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
