People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
