R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize