In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
