So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
