My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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