There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
