she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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