I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she peed on how many people?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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