She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize