So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
