Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize