I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
