Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
