I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
