So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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