Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
