I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They took my balls.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize