Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
