Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
