Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize