you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
how does that bad decision feel?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
