Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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