Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
