i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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