Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I cannot find my penis.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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