only if we run a train.
done.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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