I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
