...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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