scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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