There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
