Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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