I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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