Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
