Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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