Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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