Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
