I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
