oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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